OPIKABU

Fav song..

2012-01-25T05:50:00.000-08:00

Nostalgila tb tb karena playlist memasang the sigit damn woman, memang liriknya agak keras namun nyata ahahaa...

I give u money everday..!!!!
But now you walkin away like i never give u anything
I know u see him alone everday but i dont care
Best thing to do is to fuck her…

Now honey show me what u got
Can u make me waking up all day?
I know u to him good everday but i dont care
Best thing to do is to fuck her

I know u shakin alone all night..
I know u to him good all night..
I know u make me blue all night..
I know u fuckin girl all night yeeyy..

Now honey show me what u got
Can u make me waking up all day?
I know u see him alone everday but i dont care
Best thing to do is to fuck her…

I know u shakin alone all night..
I know u to him good all night..
I know u make me blue all night..

I know u fuckin alone all night yeeyy..

I know u fuckin alone all night yeeyy..

Norak

2012-01-24T16:18:00.000-08:00

Hal pertama yg saya katakan adalah NORAK banget sih dirimu opik..super kaget dan super takut ketika sewaktu saya lagi jalan dekat kosan saya dan hendak melewati warga yg sedang asik asiknya nongkrong pada sore hari yg penuh dengan tawa canda dan senyum di muka mereka tb tb seseorang bangkit dari duduknya dan langsung jatuh tepar kejang di tengah jalan. saya panik..namun WARGA menanggapinya biasa..seperti saya masuk di negri yg udah ga ada rasa pri kemanusiaan lagi..

mereka hanya menonton sajalayaknya sebuah pertunjukkan topeng monyet yg lagi kejang kejang..ya betul orang itu terserang AYAN.. namun apakah hanya didiamkan kejang ditengah jalan saja seperti itu..saya teriak PAK ITU KOK GA ADA YG PINDAHIN DIA KE DOKTER GT?? saya panik..orang orang sepertinya sudah ga peka lagi ama kejadian seperti ini..

sesosok bapak2 datang dan menepuk punggung saya yg kondisi saat itu saya lagi panik paniknya. dan benar dia bilang tenang mas iki uwong udah sering seperti ini, mungkin nanti kalau kejangnya udah reda baru kita gotong. aissshhhh betapa dinginnya si bapak merespon kejadian itu..saya lalu bilang "tapi pak ini jalan aspal loh pak, walaupun sudah sore tapi kan panas". dan saya ternga ngaaa denger jawaban si bapak.. "ya ndak opo opo toh itung itung jadi koyo cacing kepanasan" . jegerrrrrrrrrrrr ini orang orang udah buta atau tuli..

dan beberapa lama kemudian kejang2 si anak muda ini berhenti perlahan..lalu ia digotong dibawa masuk ke sebuah kamar. saya pun ikut masuk mengangkat anak muda itu. dan hal kaget terakhir kalinya ialah orang sakit itu dimasukkan ke kamar lalu SI KAMAR DIGEMBOK DARI LUAR..bajingan memang..orang sakit kok dikunciin..kemana otak mereka. lalu saya beertanya "Loh pak, kok digembok dari luar pak" si bapak dengan bahasa dinginnya "BIAR BESOK PAGI AJA DIBUKAINNYA TAR UDAH SEMBUH" ...opo meneh ikiii orang...saya punya bapak seperti itu uddah saya toyor toyor..lalu saya beralih untuk pulang ke kosan.

menceritakan hal itu kepada teman kosan saya, namun jawabannya sama.dingin sekali. katanya ayan bisa ada kalau sang penderita kepanasan atau banyak pikiran. dan satu cara nya ya bagus tuh dikunciin di kamar biar memaksa untuk istirahat dan berpuasa. satu hal dan gw asli malu kalo w itu NORAK banget ama hal beginian..pantes lo ga cocok pik jadi dokter..ahahha ngayal bok ngayall..hahaha

Cooo ngaco

2012-01-21T15:14:00.000-08:00

Do you know ? Kalo kita mendapatkan apa yg selalu tidak kita inginkan bukan berarti kita lg sial atau apalah. Percaya kalo sebelum dilahirin kita udah dibuatin jalannya sama tuhan. Klo kita sedih senang bahkan kecewa , pasti ada tujuannya. Termasuk jatuh dari motor, opname 7hari lalu sehat kembali. Itu udah diatur. Selalu ada hal positiv setelah itu. Kalo kita kecelakaan tp masi diberi kesempatan hidup pasti kita bakal tau bagaimana rasanya jatoh kecelakaan dan kita bakal tau dimana celah kita harus kebut atau pelan, atau kita paham kemampuan yg dimiliki oleh kendaraan kita saat tikungan. Pelajaran kaya gitu ga akan ada pada proses pembuatan SIM. seandainya ada ,yakin setiap pengendara akan paham apakah ini berbahaya buat dirinya sendiri atau orang lain. Dan yakin kalo ada pelajaran buat ngerasaain kecelakaan ,pastinya tingkat kepadatan motor di jakarta ga bakal sebanyak ini. Terkadang pelajaran yg menyakitkan seperti itulah yg dapat membuat mata kita terbuka dan tau konsekuensinya. Seperti halnya ama masalah hati #eeaaa .. Kita kudu dan musti tau itu sebelum kita berani berbuat untuk mengatakan sayang kepada seseorang yg kita sayang. Namun banyak sekali yg belum paham, ketidak pahaman itu sama saja dengan kita harus siap ama resiko yg bakal terjadi. Siap sayang berarti siap untuk menerima kekurangan orang lain yg kita sayang. Namun ketidak siapan kadang membuat semua makin buruk. Bahkan kita menjadi budak emosi yg membuat kita hanya nurut apa yg di mau oleh emosi kita. Kadang sering melakukanhal yang bodoh tanpa kita sadari, contoh saya yg ga mampu melihat things out of the box dan akhirnya banyak banget merugikan diri saya dan orang lain. Pelajaran kali ini memang sangat berharga dan ga semua manusia bisa merasakan seperti ini. Bahkan cerita cerita sinetron pun kadang menguak pelajaran ini tp agak lebay. Dan hal utama dari pelajaran yg kita ambil adalah bagaimana cara kita agar tetap survive dalam kondisi seperti itu. Dalam theory of marketing kita mengenal theory product life cycle. Dalam kehidupan jg. Intinya kudu survive agar kita minimal bisa lanjut dan bahkan melanjutkan generasi seterusnya. Namun lagi lagi orang yg tidak berfikir out of the box selalu saja memaksakan kehendak mereka . Hal ini yg menyebabkan kecelakaan terus terjadi. Banyak yg jatoh dari motor karena ga paham cara ngerem yg benar, cara ambil tikungan yg fasih. Banyak banget dari sebuah kendaraan yg tadinya berfikir efisiensi dan aman namun malah sebaliknya. Dan alhasil jatuh, bagus ga nabrak orang lain atau istilahnya udah jatuh bawa bawa orang lain. Intinya apa?? Mesti ga nyambung kan? Sama saya jg bingung nulis apa. Mulai dari nulis tentang motor2an jatuh jatuhan kok bisa bisanya gw curhat ditengah itu, haha odong.yg penting hepi *djarum76*

Hello hello

2012-01-21T15:05:00.000-08:00

Hoo teenyata dia tau jg nomor itu.. Betapa kagetnya saya, lg nyetir berjuang buat dia tp malah telfonan dgn si anu disamping saya?? Untung nanya jd saya tau , fiuh ternyata ...Tetap bejayee..

Choose the best one's

2011-12-24T17:54:00.000-08:00

My hobbies give me more enough to tell who i am. bring my tools and take more than one shoot was worked to made me feel in another atmosphere. i dunno what im doing to shoot this awesome creatures from god. is it tells that im in love again??oh no..just said over nn over im not ready for this..i need a real creature like this..without any editing at all.

hope u'll get what is mean of sincerity on me.. ;)

Too much affraid

2011-12-24T15:31:00.000-08:00

Terlalu takut buat ak mengecewakan km,
Terlalu takut buatku mendengar kata kangen dr km tp ak jauh,
Terlalu takut buatku untuk memegang tanganmu saat jalan bersama,
Terlalu takut buatku untuk memisahkan km dan adikmu,
Terlalu takut buatku untuk memberi perhatian yg terlalu lebih padamu,
Terlalu takut buatku untuk membuatmu bimbang,
Terlalu takut buatku untuk kamu agar menungguku,
Terlalu takut buatku untuk merelakan kamu buat dia yg bisa bahagiain km,
Dan terlalu berani buatku mengiklaskan apa yg akan terjadi nanti,
Namun
Terlalu yakin buatku untuk berkomitment denganmu hingga semua kebutuhan ini terpenuhi.

Semangat pagi

2011-12-11T13:53:00.000-08:00

Sebenarnya asli saya ngantuk pagi ini, baru nyampe purwokerto setelah melewati bandung terlebih dahulu karena ga dapet tiket. Haha.. Perjuangan yg melelahkan memang kalau harus tiap weekend ke jakarta dan kerja. Tp terobati lah sama kehadiran seseorang yg emang bisa di bilang karma yg terealisasi. Sangat terealisasi dengan baik sampai memiliki hampir 70% pemikiran yg sama untuk sebuah masa depan. Sama sama ego namun kita dapat saling mengerti. Bahkan dia selalu menampikkan pandangan org tntang pentingnya berstatus. Luar biasa. Yg terpenting dia bisa masuk ke keluarga saya walau dia jatuh bangun. Dan great sudah terbentuk atmosfir kekeluargaan yg kental. Namun setiap sisi ada lebih dan kurang, bagaimana cara kita menyikapi dgn bijak kekurangan pasangan kita itu lebih penting drpd nyari sana sini org yg kudu pas klop atau apalah yg perfect mungkin. Dari yg kemarin belajar banyak hal, arti kehidupan, arti keiklasan, arti kesabaran. Namun jujur saya suka agak kepo ttg dia dan masih. Karena yg namanya perasaan jgn dilawan, tp ikuti alurnya dan perlahan untuk mengiklaskannya. Tp knapa skrg dia jd cerminan saya yg dulu yah? Jd suka nulis ini itu yg ga berbobot malah. Padahal dulu itu bagus bgt karyanya. Yasudah lah ga baik ngomongin orang.
Balik lagi ke si DIA yg suka berkomitmen. Wanita ini alhamdulilah siswanto yah, ga deh . Dia seperti membaca apa yg seolah akan saya katakan dan apa yg saya pikirkan. Walau saya kadang ngomong cm sekelebat tp seperti dia masang antena di saya dan dia bisa paham tampa ada salah paham atau perdebatan. Mungkin faktor dengar-amati-pahami-bicara kali yah. Haha udah mirip jobdesnya CS. Yg pasti saya harus tetap bersyukur karena saya bisa ga terlalu protective jg karena pengalaman dan kesabaran keiklasan yg diajarkan beliau benar benar saya harus terapin dlm hidup saya skrg dn masa dpn saya. Seandainya memang dia bukanlah jodoh atau yg dikehendaki tuhan maka saya ga terlalu gila kaya dulu. Hihi mungkin benar jg yah, jgn mencintai makhluk ciptaannya melebihi dari Nya. Nah itu tuh akibatnya haha. Skrg kalo melihat hari itu betapa bodohnya tingkah saya sampai ketawa geli sendiri bahkan jd bahan ceng2an sama sahabat. Haha yg terpenting maafkan dia, yg udah menghianati di belakang dan cobalah tetap move on untuk kesuksesan sebuah hidup ini ;)

just writing for killing my time

2011-12-05T14:34:00.000-08:00

its been a long days..why days..because every single morning i only think about my the other brain..it seems like yesterday..sometimes want to running..too far..to choosing my next game..but i thing the game is over..just to bring some impressing quotes but it could be hardness..then still walk away, walking into my carrier..never thinking more to build relationship..just preparing for the couple next month maybe next, next until enough to marry you.. ;) i'll show my sincerity and my promise..success there, and happy december..

my hobby, actually new hobby

2011-10-11T17:51:00.000-07:00

ketika saya sangat sulit untuk melewati fase yg disebut pemutihan setelah kebanyakan tiap hari hari yg dahulu ya bisa disebut kelabu lah haha. kini saya menemukan cara untuk menampikkan semuanya. yah hobi saya membawa saya agar terus berkomunikasi dengan orang orang baru, dan juga hobi saya membelajarkan saya bagaimana menjaga hubungan baik dengan para teman saya maupun model talent saya. yap benar saya menekuni lebih detail lagi tentang photography . awalnya saya hanya berfikir untuk outdoor photo shoot namun samalah seperti halnya bermain musik , yg jago main musik tuh ga hanya dari satu atau dua aliran musik saja, tapi harusnya mengerti banyak tentang aliran lainnya supaya jiwa composer nya saat ingin membuat lagu ga stuck fokus di nada tersebut.
oleh karena itu saya nyebur lah yg tadinya outdoor namun sekarang indoor jg dihajar. saya sangat berterimakasih dengan teman saya ini yg mengajarkan tehnik2 yg baik klo ngambil indoor. dan juga bagaimana mengatur gaya style talent kita agar terlihat sangat cantik.

inilah beberapa photo-folio saya sewaktu di outdoor.

masi banyak lagi sih boss namun itu hanya sebagian saja , dan pengalaman indoor saya baru pertama kali dimulai dari model talent ini loh.. dan saya bangga banget dapet pengalaman baru yg nyatanya dapat membantu saya dalam karir saya juga. inilah photo folio saya.

dan masih banyak lagi. banyak hal yg saya temukan dalam photography ini. seperti ketenangan jiwa saat kita mengambil gambar dengan menahan diri agar tidak getar. ataupun keiklasan saat kita mendapatkan gambar yg terlihat bagus di display kamera namun pada saat di laptop blur baru terlihat. dan satu lagi yg saya suka adalah filosofi memperbaiki, yaitu kalo kita mendapat gambar yg kurang memuaskan kita iklaskan lalu kita perbaiki dengan editing digital agar terlihat baik. sama tentang kehidupan, kalo kita dapet yg kurang memuaskan, kita iklaskan, dan kita coba perbaiki baik dari sikap, toleransi dan apalah sebagainya. kecuali kalo bener bener ga bisa di editing yah tempat yg baik taruh di storage hardisk aja udah cukup iklas hihi thank you for coming fellas :D

Resolusi edan

2011-09-25T16:42:00.000-07:00

Pagi ini beli jas ..god im a bachelor now.. Finally selesai juga kisah saya di negri jiran.. Akhirnya saya akan bisa membawa ijasah dari negri tersebut..tp masi belum selesai perjuangan edukasi saya..dan harus menempatkan saya kepada skripsi..allah semoga kesetresan skripsi saya tidak sampai melukai perasaan orang lain..saat saat skripsi dimulai..dua minggu ini saya akan bergelut dengan outline yg telah saya buat.ngibul2 dosen dikit lah yah dengan ajang sok baik..outline acc saatnya proposal skripsi saya yg udah jafi harus dikeluarkan dari kandangnya..target harus min 2bulan full with seminar..arogan bener dah..emberrr ..gw ga mau lama disini mau cepet kerja setaun and kuliah s2 ambil MBA kalo ga dijakarta (yg kerjasama ma kampus luar) ya saya mengikuti jejak ortu kuliah di negri obama..huahh berarti mengulang kisah long long distance dong dengan indonesia..ya allah muter muter lagi kaya serasa jaman semester awal.. Ampunn..otak saya kan bodoh yah, kenapa bisa melewati fase ini itu? Ohh mungkin hokinya ga ketulungan kali..hihi .. Bisa ngerasain kuliah disana sini itu sangat luar binasa. Kembali kepertanyaan yg di minggu ini keluar mulu termasuk tan saya kemarin..kapan mau nikah?? Dong donggg nikah mohon maap lahir batin yah saya ga mau dulu, maap banget ada benernya jg kata km ma, jgn stuck sama suatu keadaan..move on..tp saya suwer tekewer kewer lagi ingin ningkatin taraf hidup dulu dengan bisnis, pendidikan, link pertemanan, dan barulah setelah semua baru nikah. Tp sumpah fase yg sangat sulit ialah fase dimana saya harus kuliah lagi..belajar dan mabok theoristis lageh yg membuat otak saya sedeng kembali..semoga semua berjalan dengan lancar sampai saya siap untuk datang dan menikahi mu untuk selamanya aminnn amin ya robbal alaminnnn...

2011-09-19T17:59:00.000-07:00

when she ask about a "thing" i dont knw what is the mean of that..but here since i knowing u and im different now.
i dont wnt to think about u anymore, and so on. i'll be me and u just be u.
we are have a different movements now.
its all up to u if u still assuming that im still stalking u.
btw its all over bro..
u stabbing me ,its mean enough for a treachery and i considered that is a liar.
if u want me to ended this relationship with a good sign. just look into ur mirror, is it im good sign for him or not.
people i dnt need all this..but u starting this condition with all ur fake heart.
dont blaming me yah. it just a time to healing our sickness.
good sign ,well fine.

Just hear it

2011-09-16T00:41:00.000-07:00

Our body say no!
Our hand say no!
Our friends say no!
Our culture say no!
Our parents say no!
Our brain say no!
Our logically say no!
Our heart may say no!
Our dream in undersleeps say no!
Do u know what is the trouble here?
There is no but,...
:)

Hihi good luck!

2011-09-12T11:11:00.000-07:00

Nothing, just nothing.. Im happy to be ur memories.. And im happy that u found that ur trully lifes..
Like as u said.. Im just follow the waves bring.. Then the water become a trully as an ocean..

I'm still loving you by SCORPIONS

2011-06-08T04:13:00.000-07:00

Time, it needs time
To win back your love again
I will be there, I will be there
Love, only love
Can bring back your love someday
I will be there, I will be there

I'll fight, babe, I'll fight
To win back your love again
I will be there, I will be there
Love, only love
Can break down the wall someday
I will be there, I will be there

If we'd go again
All the way from the start
I would try to change
The things that killed our love
Your pride has built a wall, so strong
That I can't get through
Is there really no chance
To start once again
I'm loving you

Try, baby try
To trust in my love again
I will be there, I will be there
Love, our love
Just shouldn't be thrown away
I will be there, I will be there

If we'd go again
All the way from the start
I would try to change
The things that killed our love
Your pride has built a wall, so strong
That I can't get through
Is there really no chance
To start once again

If we'd go again
All the way from the start
I would try to change
The things that killed our love
Yes, I've hurt your pride, and I know
What you've been through
You should give me a chance
This can't be the end
I'm still loving you
I'm still loving you, I need your love
I'm still loving you

Forever love by Gary barlow

2011-06-07T05:19:00.000-07:00

Love it has so many beautiful faces
Sharing lives and sharing days
My love it has so many empty spaces
I'm sharing a memory now I hope that's how it stays
Now I'm deep inside love and still breathing
She is holding my heart in her hand
I'm the closest I've been to believing
This could be love forever
All throughout my life the reasons I've demanded
But how can I reason with the reason I'm a man
Oh, oh yeah, ummm huh
In a minute I'm needing to hold her
In an hour I'm cold, cold as stone
When she leaves it gets harder and
Harder to face life alone
Now my dreams are filled with times when we're together
Guess what I need from her is forever love
Ooh, ooh yeah oooh umm
Oh, oh yeah
Now I feel forever love oooh
Oh, I feel

Keiklasan atau Dendam :)

2011-06-05T00:37:00.000-07:00

Gw tercengang melihat kelakuan gw yg menyebabkan semua orang rumah, sahabat, sepupu bahkan tetangga datang untuk menyelamatkan gw dari tingkah bodoh gw. Terlalu bodoh buat gw berfikir kalau dengan memberi judge "sebuah gitar" maka saya tidak hanya kehilangan gitar, sweater, boneka, hiasan dinding baju, kaos, hati seseorang akan keiklasan dan barang lainnya yg telah saya berikan tulus dan pengorbanan tinggi kepada seseorang. Sangat bodoh menganggap bahwa mereka tidak peduli kepada saya. Asap kepal membumbung diruang saya, tak ada lagi celah buat bernafas. Teriakan orang diluar seakan merupakan doa supaya saya agar tetap hidup. Bukan hanya hati, tp jiwa saya hilang. Tak peduli lagi apa yg terjadi pada saya. Sikap keegoisan saya menutup mata saya untuk mendengarkan doa dari teriakan orang diluar ruang. Kaca tebal di lindungi tralis pun menjadi korban untuk menyelamatkan saya.
Malam sebelum kejadian itu saya berada di ruang ini dengan sahabat saya, namun rasa bersalah akibat perkataan saya di sebuah media T mengubah pandangan dia tentang saya. Perkataan emosi dicampur dengan sayang yg besar membuat saya berfikir biarkan dia sakit sekarang asal dia tidak sakit lagi yg lebih dalam.
Keinginan orangtua yang sulit untuk saya ubah, dan saya ga paham mengapa mereka begitu terhadap saya. Dan barulah kali ini saya merasakan dimana tekanan terbesar ada di bahu saya. Bingung akan tidak maunya saya untuk menyakiti hatinya lebih dalam lagi dan rasa putus asa akibat tak pernah lunaknya sikap orang tua saya terhadap dia ,yg tadinya saya berharap waktu dapat ngikis sikap itu. Namun hingga setahun lebih saya berhubungan dengan jiwa saya ini "sebut MBEM" ,tetap saja mereka begitu.
Saya tidak ingin menyakiti lebih dalam lagi perasaan nya. Pembelajaran iklas yg ia ajarkan kepada saya membuat saya harus menyudahi ini. Pada saat itu memang terjadi percekcokan ,dan pada saat itu hari saya miris sakit dan ga mau lagi dia menangis lagi. Namun saat itulah emosi saya terpecah. Hujatan demi hujatan ak lempar padanya agar dia membenci saya. Dan thats it..sangat membenci saya. Hingga saat saya mencoba dengan berat untuk berjumpa ama dia namun tega atau apalah dia hanya mengijinkan saya untuk melihatnya dari ujung pagar. Dan saat itu jg saya kaget bahwa dia sudah kerumah saya paginya namun mengembalikan semua barang saya ,tidak hanya gitar namun semua.. Semuanya.. Rasa sangat sedih mendapat tusukan demi tusukan didada saya. Saya tak sanggup untuk pulang. Saat itu saya lanjutkan untuk pergi ke puncak malam itu jg. Berfikir dengan udara dingin dapat menenangkan jiwa saya. Namun ga sama sekali. Pukul 3 saya balik kearah jakarta dan pulang. Orang tua saya membukakan pintu buat saya ,dan saya hendak mencari barang yg telah orang tersayang saya bawa kembali kesini. Dan hilangnya hati saya dan jiwa saya benar benar terjadi. Saya ga kuat dan menelfon dia dari ponsel saya. Semua barang yg telah kuberikan untuknya bahkan foto saya pun ia kembalikan. Saya ga sanggup dan sebagai lelaki saya lemah dan menangis saat itu pula saya menyuruh orang rumah keluar dari ruangan saya. Gitar pun yg menjadi awal nya ku hancurkan, penyesalan besar buat hidup saya, bahkan boneka yg saya berikan untuk pengganti saya dibalikkan dan saya ga kuasa merobek boneka itu. Pakaian dan barang barang lain ak hancurkan. Namun kenapa ada barang yg ak kasih buat orangtuanya disini? Apa mama saya ini jg berlaku yg sama karena "tulisan GITAR" saya? Saya ga tahan dengan semuanya. Pecahkan kaca dikamar dan pecahan itu kubuat untuk melukai diri saya. Pagi tiba dan saya belum tertidur.
Setelah saya bernegosiasi dengan keluarga saya ,dan saya mendapat sms yg sangat nusuk dalam di jantung saya. Keinginan hidup hilang, harapan masa depan hilang dan akhirnya kukumpulkan semua barang itu di dekat pintu ruangan saya yg terkunci. Tingkah bodoh saya menguak dan membakar semua barang itu. Asap tebal membumbung keluar dari kamar saya. Warga sekitar panik, tetangga pun panik terlebih orang tua saya dan sahabat saya yg meneriaki saya untuk sadar. Saat saya sadar akan tingkah saya yg bodoh ini, saya menyadari kalau saya TELAT. api sudah membesar, nafaspun tak bisa karena asap hitam dari boneka pemberian saya yg terbakar. Kesadaran saya hilang. Kaca dipecahkan dan tralis di bobol paksa oleh tetangga. Dan saya dikeluarkan dari kamar dan api segera dipadamkan. Mereka nangis bersama saya, mereka tersedak pilu bersama saya. Pikiran yg tadinya mereka ga peduli sama saya berubah seketika, dan berbalik ketika saya mendengarkan obrolan telfon sahabat saya dengan mantan saya itu.
Sekarang siapa yg peduli atau pura pura peduli. Apa karena judgement saya dia rela untuk kehilangan nyawa saya. Bahkan terlalu sakit untuk saya dengar. Seolah seperti palsu perkataan sahabat saya. Dan saya menyadari saya bukanlah bermimpi. Mereka nangis untuk saya, mereka berjuang untuk nyawa saya. Yang saya lihat disini DENDAM yg ada lg antara saya dan orang yg saya sayang itu. Jika dia sayang saya, saya yakin dia tidak akan sanggup berkata demikian terhadap sahabat saya tentang saya. Jika dia sayang saya dengan iklas dia tidak akan mengirimkan barang semuanya itu kecuali memang dia berniat untuk menghancurkan saya. Jika dia sayang dengan saya ,tidak akan keluar sms yg menyakitkan itu dan perkataan TEGA itu buat saya.
Saya belajar banyak dari tragedi ini, semua jelas adanya. Dan saya gak akan snggup lagi untuk memberikan hati saya ke orang lain.
Note: buat km yg semoga baca, kalau kamu masih marah dan terlalu sakit dengan judgement ak, dari nyawa saya, saya meminta maav yg sebesar2nya. Dan kalau maksud kamu agar ak merasakan sakitmu , saat itu ak lebih dari kata gila. Thnks for loving me..
Salam taufiq.

Dashboard Confessional-I Do Lyrics

2010-11-12T18:05:00.000-08:00

Oh love, hang on,
I’ve gotta say this right
'Cause I only get one shot,
Once in my life
'Cause I want to grow old with you
And I want you to hold me forever

Do you think that you love me?
'Cause I do, I do, I do
Do you want that forever?
'Cause I do, I do, I do
Do you want me to share your life with you?
I do, I do, I do

Oh love, hang on,
If you're willing,
I’ll be strong
And I’ll give you the life that you deserve
'Cause I want you to know all of me
And I, I want to hold you forever

Do you think that you love me?
'Cause I do, I do, I do
Do you want that forever?
'Cause I do, I do, I do
Do you want me to brave this world for you?
I do, I do, I do
I do, I do, I do, I do

what is hope? briefly n explain it...

2010-04-19T11:07:00.000-07:00

What hope means

Hope is bright shining light which keeps darkness at bay
Hope is to remain positive when going gets tough
Hope is seeking more when others think you had enough
Hope is dreaming of tomorrow
Hope is simmering under sorrow
Hope is sparkles when tears in our eyes
Hope is a beautiful thing & beautiful things never dies
What hope means
Hope is as light as a feather
Hope keeps all of us together
Hope is ubiquitous and free of cost
hope is the last thing ever lost.....

I hope that you well get by
I hope that you well love me
I hope that you well care for me
I hope that you and I are happy
I hope that the day well came when we meet
I hope that you like what you see
I hope that you well love me
I hope that you and I well always be happy
I hope that I well not make you cry
I hope that we will last for life
I hope that love is what we will see in one other
I hope that you never leave me
I hope
I hope
I hope this well came true
I hope
I hope
I can only hope

then i see know why im still hoping on u
Hope is what keeps us living Love it and
about hope is u..

soooooooooooooooooooo

2010-04-02T22:44:00.000-07:00

just told..just say it something..just explain more..
hey i have recently come to realize
There is no way to compromise Darkness grows with each sunrise
No pleasure comes with new surprise
There is no use to improvise
For a jealous heart tells only lies Inside this leads to painful cries
And tears will fall from blameless eyes
This mind of mine you terrorize Grows impossible to stabilize
These wounds no matter what the size Take so long to cauterize
My words I try to organize the "word" which I visualize Memories
I mobilize Combine as I apologize This feeling
I cannot disguise
Thoughts are hard to analyzed
The last event can we not ostracize?
All senses fail while we trade good-byes No doubt within me will arise
This sinful thought is my demise
With you I know I held first prize But now I'm cold with lifeless..
just like sincerity dummy-thing..

Its hurt

2010-02-17T19:58:00.000-08:00

“Love comes to those who still hope even though they've been disappointed, to those who still believe even though they've been betrayed, to those who still love even though they've been hurt before.”

that is true, n happen on me. even its hurting me. but i'll neva give up for this dilemma. i dont knw wht im feel'n now..such like stupid bigchild who still hope even i got nothing. but why i cant cntrl this feel'n. im afraid to losing her. maybe she is the one who can make me changing . she's kinda know wht im feel'n. but same like me. she never told to me.

why until now i never tells to her that i really really in love with her. cause i dont wanna felt disappointed if i just being her boy friend. i wnt to be her husband who can take care off all her needed.

i dont wanna like this. MISUNDERSTOOD .i just want to give u happiness live.
no more burden , no more sickness , no more hurt, no more bad..
i just wanna see some kind of smile in ur face..

It breaks your heart to see the one you love is happy with someone else, but it's more painful to know that the one you love is unhappy with you.
that's why im OON like this.
i love u because no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.

Her Voice Here..

2010-01-23T22:33:00.000-08:00

The wild bee reels from bough to bough
With her furry coat and her gauzy wing,
Now in a lily-cup, and now
Setting a jacinth bell a-swing,
In his wandering;
Sit closer love: it was here I trow
I made that vow,
Swore that two lives should be like one
As long as the sea-gull loved the sea,
As long as the sunflower sought the sun,-
It shall be, I said, for eternity
'Twixt you and me!
Dear friend, those times are over and done;
Love's web is spun.
Look upward where the poplar trees
Sway and sway in the summer air,
Here in the valley never a breeze
Scatters the thistledown, but there
Great winds blow fair
From the mighty murmuring mystical seas,
And the wave-lashed leas.
Look upward where the white gull screams,
What does it see that we do not see?
Is that a star? or the lamp that gleams
On some outward voyaging argosy,
Ah! can it be
We have lived our lives in a land of dreams!
How sad it seems.
Sweet, there is nothing left to say
But this, that love is never lost,
Keen winter stabs the breasts of May
Whose crimson roses burst his frost,
Ships tempest-tossed
Will find a harbour in some bay,
And so we may.

And there is nothing left to do
But to kiss once again, and part,
Nay, there is nothing we should rue,
I have my beauty,-you your Art,
Nay, do not start,
One world was not enough for two
Like me and you.

To My Best Friend?

2009-11-27T06:40:00.000-08:00

This is for the greatest person
that I have ever known.
Being away from you for so long
I am feeling so alone.
With you I am so happy
you keep my heart content.
But I had to be a student -
so off to UUM I went.
That is where I found my heart
and how I feel for you.
I try so hard to deny this feeling
and I don't know what to do.
I said that I would never again
let someone take my heart.
And here I'm sitting wanting you
and hate that we're apart.
Everyday you are in my thoughts,
every night you're in my dreams.
I can't believe what's happening,
is this really what it seems?
I know you're only wanting
to be the best of friends,
but I am asking you sincerely
if it's your rule you'll bend.
To take a chance to know me
to let me share it all.
And maybe one day very soon
for me one day you'll fall.
Our friendship we now have
is something that I'd miss
but maybe once we let go
we will find eternal bliss.

yaa its time to be me

2009-10-20T10:50:00.000-07:00

I’m looking down into an empty creek bed

The wind through the trees sounds like water running

I visualize what it might look like in another month

Water will be flowing; there will be frogs and salamanders too

A little boy could find so much to do

Wet and dirty he would be, but for a little while

His life and mind are completely free

His curiosity and imagination running at high speed

The action of it all, innocent and so pure

Wish I had that time and energy to explore

But now all I do is remember how used to be

When I was young and had the time to be me

And finally i found u as my destination

2009-10-17T07:39:00.000-07:00

“Good things happen to those who wait”
I'm waiting for you…wait for me too
It'll never be too late this is fate
I'll be with you till we cross that gate

Make me your husband and you won't regret
You'll be pleased with the results
WANNA BET?

If you were mine I'll be there for you
Through thick and thin
Nothing will be untrue
Our two hearts will soon become one

I'll fill your existence with love
I'll become your fixation.
You'll mean more to me than anything above
You'll be my admiration.

I'll catch you when you fall
I'll pick you up when you're down
I'll make you happy
All year 'round

From what I've been explained
Love is Pain
But I'll risk it all to have you gained
Why complain?

I'm living my dream
I finally found you as my destination ..whether by ur loves or ur attitude ..

moan moan moan

2009-09-26T04:52:00.000-07:00

All those times I was bored
out of my mind. Holding the log
while she sawed it. Holding
the string while she measured, boards,
distances between things, or pounded
stakes into the ground for rows and rows
of lettuces and beets, which I then (bored)
weeded. Or sat in the back
of the car, or sat still in boats,
sat, sat, while at the prow, stern, wheel
she drove, steered, paddled. It
wasn't even boredom, it was looking,
looking hard and up close at the small
details. Myopia. The worn gunwales,
the intricate twill of the seat
cover. The acid crumbs of loam, the granular
pink rock, its igneous veins, the sea-fans
of dry moss, the blackish and then the graying
bristles on the back of his neck.
Sometimes she would whistle, sometimes
I would. The boring rhythm of doing
things over and over, carrying
the wood, drying
the dishes. Such minutiae. It's what
the animals spend most of their time at,
ferrying the sand, grain by grain, from their tunnels,
shuffling the leaves in their burrows. shee pointed
such things out, and I would look
at the whorled texture of her square finger, earth under
the nail. Why do I remember it as sunnier
all the time then, although it more often
rained, and more birdsong?
I could hardly wait to get
the hell out of there to
anywhere else. Perhaps though
boredom is happier. It is for dogs or
groundhogs. Now I wouldn't be bored.
Now I would know too much.
Now I would know.

lose

2009-09-10T05:03:00.001-07:00

Lose yourself slowly

in the velvety gaze, the seduction

of a fragile rose.

the scent of passionate longing

captivates the heart

with an obstinate urge of the savagery

of a night's loving.

Your heart,

now silently impaled by the liquid fragrance

of a shadowy thorn.

There is no escaping its fatal embrace.

Yours is the crimson petal,

the blood on the thorn.

My family

2009-08-25T23:39:00.000-07:00

Whenever we gather together,
The words are not easy to find,
But love speaks a common language
When people have ties that bind.
We don't always say what we're feeling
As often as families should;
We don't count our blessings out loud,
But somehow they're understood.
We know that we're thankful for living
With the comfort of each other's care;
We're grateful for memories and stories,
And the jokes that our family shares.
We might leave a promise unspoken,
But we know that we're loyal and true;
We can count on companions through life,
In the sunshine and shadows, too.
We might show some special attention
To a stranger, acquaintance, or guest,
But we never forget in our hearts
About those that we really love best.
These blessings can never be counted
Like money or gold dividends;
They can only be shared as the love
That exists when families are friends.

I hate this

2009-08-24T10:08:00.000-07:00

Breeze flows by
Whispering words into my ear
Numbness grips my soul
and the Scarry heart skips a beat

The Sun setting down the prairies
Signals the end
When will you come back to me
I am shattered and broken

The Flowers have died
my tears have dried
These wounds will never heal
unless you touch me

Even in a stone
Lies a heart Soft enough to pardon
Believe me my love,
I am shattered and Broken

If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart,
forgive them for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to who you open you heart to.

“A broken heart is what makes life so wonderful five years later, when you see that special guy in an elevator and he is fat and smoking and saying 'Long time no see'”

“When love is lost, do not bow your head in sadness; instead keep your head up high and gaze at the stars for that is where your broken heart has been sent to heal!”

thinking

2009-08-14T07:15:00.001-07:00

If you think you are beaten, you are.
If you think you dare not, you don’t
If you like to win but think you can’t,
It’s almost a cinch you won’t.

If you think you’ll lose, you’re lost.
For out in the world we find
Success begins with a fellow’s will
It’s all in the state of mind.

If you think you are outclassed, you are.
You’ve got to think high to rise.
You’ve got to be sure of yourself before
You can ever win the prize.

Life’s battles don’t always go
To the stronger or faster man.
But sooner or later, the man who wins
Is the man who thinks he can.

I call it's memory

2009-08-12T22:09:00.000-07:00

You left me wondering around
No longer do I feel safe and sound
Stumbling on your favorite blue shirt
Cant keep in all of this hurt
I loved you so damn much
That now I cry for your touch
That no longer comes my way
No matter how much I beg and pray
Into my bed I crawl alone
Just to smell your colonge
It was a week ago since you said goodbye

But your smell still lingers by
It fills my body with such distress
Turning me into a total mess
You didnt think of what you would do to me
All you wanted was to be free
So me being stupid I opened the door
I let you through and cried even more
I closed it shut and heard you leave
Footstep heading away from me
You say that we werent meant to be
How do you dare say that to me
I hold my broken heart in my hand
Trying to keep it together the best I can
But no matter how much glue I use
I still cry and feel abused
For in this prison called my room
I keep memories of me and you
They haunt me every second of the day
I just wish this pain would go away
I gathered all your things today
Put them in a box and hid them away
But I kept something to make me smile
I found it and took it from the pile
A picture of you holding me
A memory of what we used to be

love songs

2009-08-07T02:20:00.001-07:00

Love comes hungry to anyone’s hand.
I found the newborn sparrow next to
the tumbled nest on the grass. Bravely

opening its beak. Cats circled, squirrels.
I tried to set the nest right but the wild
birds had fled. The knot of pin feathers

sat in my hand and spoke. Just because
I’ve raised it by touch, doesn’t mean it
follows. All day it pecks at the tin image of

a faceless bird. It refuses to fly,
though I’ve opened the door. What
sends us to each other? she and I

had a blue landscape, a village street,
some poems, bread on a plate. Love
was a camera in a doorway, love was

a script, a tin bird. Love was faceless,
even when we’d memorized each other’s
lines. Love was hungry, love was faceless,

the sparrow sings, famished, in my hand.

love

2009-08-07T02:18:00.000-07:00

Some of what we do, we do
to make things happen,
the alarm to wake us up, the coffee to perc,
the car to start.

The rest of what we do, we do
trying to keep something from doing something,
the skin from aging, the hoe from rusting,
the truth from getting out.

With yes and no like the poles of a battery
powering our passage through the days,
we move, as we call it, forward,
wanting to be wanted,
wanting not to lose the rain forest,
wanting the water to boil,
wanting not to have cancer,
wanting to be home by dark,
wanting not to run out of gas,

as each of us wants the other
watching at the end,
as both want not to leave the other alone,
as wanting to love beyond this meat and bone,
we gaze across breakfast and pretend.

hope

2009-08-03T10:58:00.000-07:00

i hope the starving hungry tummies in africa get so full that they and the parasites they host inside them can have everlasting meals
i hope oprah builds more schools in africa and excludes more rich people and pisses more white people off who try to say she's being a racist
i hope cnn nbc abc fox cspan msnbc and the rest stop passing off low or no american casualties for the day in iraq as making the whole lot of iraqi deaths ok
i hope hollywood crumbles under the weight of its own image is everything, attention starved, spoiled ass, only child that has never heard no mentality
i hope gays and lesbians become the majority for a whole long time or at least long enough to legislate marriage laws and adopt foster kids and piss every intolerant heterosexual and religious fundamentalist off who arrogantly thinks they have a monopoly on moral rights
i hope facts come out that debunk everything anyone believes i myself included so that we may all know how it feels to be utterly wrong and not be so quick to make facts of opinions

i hope the hunter gets his prey
i hope the prey gets away
i hope that not one more diamond is ever found or formed
i hope the factories of the earth that make all 'precious' rocks go on strike
i hope humans lose their nearly sexual obsession with shiny objects
i hope this poem gets longer and longer and feeled with more disdain and hatred
i hope you hate this poem
i hope this poem takes all the hatred in this world and locks it in every line thereby leaving the world left to only love
i hope a shiite and a sunni fall madly in love and give birth to a child that impregnates a jew that gives birth to offspring that whorships the buddah but gets its eye caught by the most devout of conservative christians and then in turn i hope they both denounce all religions and faiths after realizing the true way to god is through humanity and love only alone and all by themselves
i hope life turns out to be worth all this poetry
i hope life turns out to be worth all this worry
i hope life turns out to be worth all this grief
i hope life turns out to be worth all this life
i hope life turns out to be worth all this hope
i hope it turns out to be worth it
i hope like hell

FORGET AND FORGIVING HER

2009-08-02T10:41:00.000-07:00

To forgive is divine. It is a trait that we learn from our creator.
She has shown us that is possible to repent from our sins and that we can forgive others as well.
Forgiveness is more than saying the words, "I forgive you".
If you still harbor hatred in your heart this is not true forgiveness.
In order to truly forgive you must put myself in the other person's place. you must try to understand how they could do such a thing to you.
When you understand what has led them to that act, you may be able truly forgive them.

TODAY

2009-07-31T12:07:00.000-07:00

a tender breeze touches my skin
a horrible pain it's bringing
and I wanna go running
but I know I’ve got to let it in

it's so hard to face it all
cause I know tonight I'll fall
don't drag on me cause I can't keep strong
cause tomorrow I'll move on

but today, oh today
I've got to cry it all away
and tomorrow will bring back my sun
but today it all feels wrong
oooh today, yeah today,
I've got to cry it all away
and tomorrow with eyes dry
I'll be ready for another try

go walking in the wood
it's suppose to make me feel good
but today it hurts even more
than I'll go try out a shore

but the sand make my eyes tear
every time another spear
who makes the burden even harder
but I'll be fine one day farther

but today, oh today
I've got to cry it all away
and tomorrow will bring back my sun
but today it all feels wrong
oooh today, yeah today,
I've got to cry it all away
and tomorrow with eyes dry
I'll be ready for another try

it's just a blast
comes so fast
but I know
it will gow
over tomorrow

but today, oh today
I've got to cry it all away
and tomorrow will bring back my sun
but today it all feels wrong
oooh today, yeah today,
I've got to cry it all away
and tomorrow with eyes dry
I'll be ready for another try

FRIENDS

2009-07-30T22:25:00.000-07:00

When troubles come a callin’
As those gremlins often do,
And my spirit keeps on fallin’
Till I feel low down and blue…

When I look around for comfort,
Someone quickly jumps to mind,
One who always will support me,
And whose words are always kind.

Who will make my mood feel lighter,
Who’ll help beat my troubles back,
He/She makes the sun shine brighter
And gets my spirit back on track.

Who helps the road seem straighter,
And helps me get around each bend,
Who makes each day seem greater,
And that someone is you, my friend.

for u my beloved telertubies

2009-07-30T21:58:00.000-07:00

Because you are my friend,
my life is enriched in a myriad of ways.
Like a cool breeze on a sweltering day,
like a ray of sunshine parting glowering clouds,
you lift me up.
In good times, we soar,
like weightless balloons
over neon rainbows.
In bad times, you are soothing balm
for my pummeled soul.
I learn so much from you;
you help me see old things in new ways.
I wonder if you are aware
of the bright seeds you are sowing in me.
I'm a better person for knowing you,
so that everyone I interact with
is touched by your good effect on me.
You relax me, refresh me, renew me.
Your bounteous heart envelops me
in joy and love and peace.
May your life be filled
with dazzling blessings,
just as I am blessed
by being your friend.

forgot it all about me

2009-07-30T13:53:00.000-07:00

You sit here and tell me everything will be okay,
it's not..Why? I sit and think why you told me that.
you told me you would be here for me when I needed you,

but you were never around. You said that we would always be,
but we are no more...You told me we wus forever,
but that forever only made me cry..You were never around to
whipe my tears away..You said you would never forget me,
but now I geuss since you forgot me Ill never for give you..
I just want you to know Ill never forget you..Ill never forget the day we met...But most of all Ill never forget how you made me feel.

YOU FAKE ME ABOUT LDR AND TRUE LOVES

my beloved friend's

2009-07-30T12:52:00.000-07:00

My Friend when I think of you.
I think of all that we've been through.
All the times we argue and fight,
I know deep inside that it isn't right.
I, then feel bad and alot of pain.
It feels like I've fallen from the sky like the rain.
I love you dear friend with all of my heart.
But now that you're gone I've fallen apart.
I'm getting better as the days go by.
I wish sometimes this was all a big lie.
I pray to you every night.
It's like you're my fire, a burning light.
My dear friend, I miss you alot.
I still wonder why you were put in that spot.
I know you're in a place much better than here.
Watching and helping me with all of my fear.
Our friendship my dear friend,
we will have to the end.
Friends til the end is what we will be.
Someday we'll be together,
together you and me.

i call it "lost"

2009-07-29T07:28:00.000-07:00

I am staring in the teardrops of the rain
i dont know if i have to search for something
my mind is opened but i cant guess what is in
Maybe its very hard to catch the deepest mean

the wind blew to its hardest that i felt frost
when i breathe my heart was beating most
i am scared of what im felling
but i guess his always looking

so he for the clear of his eyes
whom i saw him in my dreams at night
when i turned back at times
i couldn't see anything, i've found nothing

and i've follow the edge of the light
and i saw a statue besides the window
i thought it was the boy i've been waiting 4
its only my imagination that love reflects like A SHADOW....

A Patchwork Quilt

2009-07-28T03:05:00.000-07:00

Made up of memories of you
Bound together with love
Sewn with your selfless giving
Threads made of grace
Lined with thoughts of you.

Squares made of days gone by
Days we spent together
Each with a new design
Of the things that we shared.

Blanket stitches of our hearts
Mingle the squares in rows
Nothing can tear it apart
Not fire or flood or anything close.

It’s kept in a place of my keeping
The treasure chest of my heart
Wrapped in tissue of forgiveness
And tied with ribbons of love.

The colors all speak of you
Pinks and Blues and other hues
Sewn tight and fastened together
With hope and faith and truth.

Destination

2009-07-27T10:04:00.000-07:00

Our destination is a place,
Far greater than we know.
For some the journey's quicker,
For some the journey's slow.
And when the journey finally ends,
We'll claim a great reward,
And find an everlasting peace,
Together with the lord

special gift

2009-07-27T09:53:00.000-07:00

A special world for you and me
A special bond one cannot see
It wraps us up in its cocoon And holds us fiercely in its womb.
Its fingers spread like fine spun gold
Gently nestling us to the fold
Like silken thread it holds us fast
Bonds like this are meant to last.
And though at times a thread may break
A new one forms in its wake
To bind us closer and keep us strong
In a special world, where we belong.

empty

2009-04-23T08:53:00.000-07:00

its empty without u..
its empty feels like no one to hear me..
its empty if i miss my heart..
its empty if you not happy..
its empty to make u sad
its empty where im happy but without u..
empty is you
without u im just feel empty..

My A r t Pictures Gallery

2008-01-15T20:01:00.000-08:00

About Fake's On Me

2006-06-06T03:57:00.000-07:00

Aw Aw Aw...my Fake name is OPIKABU. Actually Im a bachelor student. Im taking BIBM course and im fck'n hates with "waiting situation" ..

My beloved moment when I combine between my bored live with my hobbies. I loves music because of that I love playing guitar too.

when I playing my guitar usually Im smoke with my favorite cigarette .
I also loved blogging actually for this page haha..

About physical, im fat but not too fat , im tall but not too tall, Im insane but not too insane, and im not perfect but im perfecto ....haha...its fake's dont believe me..lol